I’m Getting Old! Understanding Our Children

I Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish ways”. When I was a teenager, I made a promise to myself that I would never do what I felt the adults in my life did to me. I felt like they didn’t understand what it was like to be a me( a seventeen year old). The promise that I made was that I would never forget what it was like to be a teenager. Guess what? I am now 34 years old, and I cannot, for the life of me, remember what it was like to be a teenager! I don’t even remember what it was like to be single with no children. And I’m still young! Well, mostly young.

Think about what it must be like to be a young person under the age of twenty. I know you don’t understand what they are going through. Or maybe you don’t understand why they feel that what they are going through is so important. Think about teenage boys for a second. Teenage boys have every single desire, frustration, and insecurity that teenage girls have. They are just conditioned by the world to suck it up and be strong. So instead of allowing them to express those emotions, we adults make them internalize all of these emotions (with no outlets)until they burst out on their own. Usually this outburst of emotion is expressed in the most unhealthy way. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling you what to do. I’m simply asking you to consider some things the next time you talk to a young man or young woman:

1. The problems that they have are important to them. It doesn’t matter if it is important to you or not. They need to feel like you are sympathetic to their problems.

2. Sometimes, you just have to let them vent. No opinions, no solutions, just be a sounding board.

3. Let them know that it’s okay to feel how they feel. Lets give our young people permission to show emotion. Boys and girls need to know how to laugh, cry, challenge thinking, and change opinions.

4. The more you let them talk and you listen, the more they will let you talk and they listen.

5. Our children are fragile. They may look older than they are. But they still need to feel like it’s okay to be babies.

Remember the verse in I Corinthians? Sometimes, when we put away childish things, we also put away some great qualities. My son does not yet know that he shouldn’t push so hard for everything he wants until he gets it. He doesn’t know that he is not supposed to be learning chess at the age of five. He doesn’t know that you can’t just speak to every stranger that you meet. He doesn’t know that the world is not safe. Some of these things I need to teach him. But there is a part of me that wants to let him be naive a little while longer. Our children have the rest of their lives to be adults. Lets agree to let our children be children for now and provide the support they need as they come of age. They will get there sooner than we think.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike

Read Full Post »

Sin Is Sin

If I gave you a list of sins(let’s say lying, murder, and stealing), and asked you to rank them in order from the least severe to the most severe; how would you rank them? Which sin is the smallest sin? Which sin is the most severe sin? What would your response be? What if I threw in gossiping, homosexuality, and creating strife in the church? Now which sin is the smallest and largest? Could you do it? I’ll give you time to chew on that while I talk about something else.

In prison documentaries, they talk about how some convicts rank higher than others in terms of respectability. Drug dealers, gang bangers, and murderers are on top of the hierarchy. Rapist and addicts are on the bottom. Typically, the more vicious the crime, the more you are respected. Are we the same in the church? How do we deal with those whose sins we are aware of? Do we treat one sin with more contempt than we do others? I would say yes. But I’m just one person. I believe that we as Christians have to be careful in our judgement of one another’s flaws. We must all remember that no matter what the sin is, the end result is the same. Any sin does the following:

1. Causes separation from God
2. Delays blessings from God
3. Hurts your testimony and ability to witness for God

No matter what the sin is, that is between the sinner and God. Remember that saved people still sin as well. Our job as members of the family of God is to encourage and support one another, not judge one another (I’m talking to myself as well). If we try to remember that today, I think we will all be a bit better off.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike

Read Full Post »

Compassion

Matthew 25:37-46: “Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

There was a time in my life that I did not own a car. During those years, if I had to go somewhere, I had a few choices. I could ride the bus, or I could walk. And whenever I walked, I always kept an eye out for someone that I knew who could give me a ride. Sometimes I saw people that I knew. Sometimes I did not. But over time I began to make a difference between those people that I knew and between those people that actually liked me. The people that I knew would wave at me and continue driving. The people that liked me would actually stop and offer me a ride. As I look back on those days, I have had to change the labels that I placed on the people. Looking back, the difference was not between those persons that knew me and those that liked me. The difference was between those that had compassion on my situation and those that did not.

What is compassion? By definition, compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for someone who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. It is a two-part definition. Having compassion on someone is not simply crying for them because of their unfortunate situation. It is the recognition of another person’s problem followed by the action to help solve the problem. You see, those persons who offered me a ride actually felt enough sympathy for me to want to help me out. I’m not making this about Mike. I am using this example to give you the chance to reflect. I saw someone that I knew from the local grocery store that I shop at. He is a cashier there and we always speak to each other. He was walking along the street and I waved at him as I passed by. Suddenly, I rembered the many people who waved at me and kept going when I was walking. It made me turn back around and make sure that he was okay. Turns out he was just getting some exercise. But I felt better because I took the time to check on him. I am working on trying to be a more compassionate person in life. Not just so it can make me feel good about myself. But because it is my duty as a Christian to have compassion on my fellow man (or woman). Think about the people you have come accross in the past week. Did you miss any opportunities to exercise compassion? Just so you don’t think that I always get it right, I’ll tell you this story.

When I was in college, I ran into a family friend that didn’t have a car and needed a ride home on a fairly reagular basis. Bear in mind that the gentleman lived less than two miles away from me. I had an opportunity to show compassion to him… and I failed to take advantage of that opportunity. I do regret that I didn’t show more compassion to him. But I keep that incident with me so that I do a better job of showing compassion in the future. As you go through life this week, don’t worry about the opportunities that you missed to show compassion. But don’t forget them either. Use them to remind yourself next time you run into someone in need. Then thank God that he has given you another opportunity to show His love for your fellow man. Then simply act on your compassion. Be advised, your next opportunity may be closer than you think.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike

Read Full Post »

Pray For Your Pastor

You have no idea what your Pastor goes through on a daily basis. I remember talking to my sister one day. She is the wife of a Pastor in South Carolina(my brother in law). I was complaining to her about a former Pastor of mine that always late to every single event. He was late so often, we began to tell him that an event would begin an hour later than it actually did so he would have a better chance of being on time. I was just beginning to warm up in my complaint when my sister stopped me in my tracks. She asked me, “Do you pray for your Pastor?” What? “Do you pray for your Pastor?” she asked me a second time. She then told me all the things that a Pastor goes through on a daily basis. That conversation was many years ago, but now I have a better understanding of what she meant.

I have personally watched what Pastors go through on a daily basis, and understand that they are under an extreme amount of pressure. Just imagine the following scenario: Just imagine that you are responsible for 200 people. If someone dies, you have to minister to the family and possibly help with funeral arrangements. If someone gets married, you have to counsel them and perform the ceremony. You need to also counsel anyone who request it from you; as well as those that YOU know need counseling. You are in charge of Sunday mourning sermons, Wednesday night Bible lessons, and saying something prophetic at every meeting. You also have to make sure you are being a perfect example because you have some people in your congregation that will use your mistakes to undermine your authority. If you truly have a passion for your church, then you carry the burdens of your entire congregation on your heart. Lastly, your are responsible for making sure the church body is growing spiritually, numerically, and financially while reminding everyone which of the three are most pressing at the time.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you ask your Pastor to name his/her biggest blessing, they will probably say that being a servant to God and helping others are their greatest rewards. But, along with doing all of the above, your Pastor has to maintain their own house, take care of their own children, and be a good spouse to their husband or wife. Last, but not least, are they happy with their own life? The Pastor also has a vision for the church that God has given them the the actual church body is not ready to receive. Now… with all that in mind, can you cut your Pastor some slack the next time they forget to call your name as one of the participants in the thank-you remarks? I’m just saying…Pray for your Pastor.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike

Read Full Post »